Oozing like blood from a harpooned shark with more teeth than the ship has rats.

Pirates of the Caribbean. Pintel&Ragetti. PG-13. 300 words. Slashy humour.

Ragetti has needs.

Oozing like blood from a harpooned shark with more teeth than the ship has rats.

Scampering down from the crow’s nest, Ragetti nearly climbed right back up quick as his legs could take him. But Pintel had rushed across the ship like a hurricane and stabbed a finger at Ragetti’s chest before he could hoist himself into the rigging.

“Where was you last night?”

The line slithered from Ragetti’s dampened hands. His mouth quavered towards a smile. “Out,” he answered.

Pintel squinted mightily. “Out? Out where? Ship’s not that big.”

The smile splintered. Ragetti tossed a guilty glance at the deckhands clustered about the forecastle. He scratched at his elbow. “I was just over by the captain’s cabin.”

“You was by the captain’s cabin,” Pintel repeated. He drew in breath to holler, and his voice rose steadily along with the colour in his cheeks. “I know you was by the captain’s cabin. And I know who you was with!”

Ragetti’s mouth twisted to the side and his gaze crawled away like a beaten dog. He scuffled a toe against a warm spot of tar. “You don’t understand.”

“I understand all right!” Pintel turned and brusquely crossed his arms over his chest. His shoulders quavered with each breath until he deflated on a sigh. “I’m not good enough for you anymore. That’s it, ain’t it.”

Gnawing on his lip, Ragetti reached out to pluck at Pintel’s sleeve. As Pintel batted away his touch, he noticed a patch of the salt-stiffened cotton that’d need mending. “S’not true!” he said softly. “It’s just…I-I’ve got needs.”

“What’s he been giving you that I don’t?”

Ragetti shrugged. He tried to find the right words to explain. “Proper dramatic pacing, clever metaphors, and a larger, more colourful vocabulary?”

“My vocabulary is plenty big,” Pintel roared as Ragetti fled, “And you ain’t never complained about my pacing before!”

*

End

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